New York Deli Style Hot Sandwiches Philly Cheese Steak Hot Sandwich

It was with great surprise on Thursday that I passed the vending machine and discovered TWO new sandwiches for me to review! Unfortunately at the time I only recognized ONE of those sandwiches as being new. The reason? Well, the second sandwich greatly resembled another that I'd already tried. I saw the big orange letters that screamed AZ and assumed it was just another BIG AZ CHICKEN SANDWICH. My mistake would cost me the chance to sample the BIG AZ CHAR-BROIL BURGER as I did not buy it at that moment and instead bought the sandwich I knew I hadn't had: The New York Deli Style Hot Sandwiches Philly Cheese Steak Hot Sandwich Deli Style Heat and Eat. You'd best believe that I'll be keeping an eye out for the return of the Big Az Char-Broil.

The New York Deli Style Hot Sandwiches Philly Cheese Steak is like a woman in a Burqa. Wrapped tightly in opaque white paper that's probably supposed to conjure images of a deli sandwich's wax paper, this sandwich stokes the fires of the imagination. What lies underneath? Will it be a sight to quicken my pulse with longing or something that toes the line of mediocrity?

The only way to describe the feeling of unwrapping this thing is to say it's kinda like a kid on Christmas hoping to open his present and find a Transformer (yeah I grew up in the 80's so what?) and instead discovering a couple pairs of Fruit of the Looms.

The sandwich sat there indifferently, like a giant genital wart*. The bread felt mildly sticky, and smelled somewhat sweet. I sniffed for a few moments to see what other aromas I could detect but could only smell the faintest traces of cheese and pepper. Pulling off the top part of the bun revealed the "steak". I couldn't help but imagine that it had been assembled by enthusiastic inmates of some penetentiary who were being paid the princely sum of seven or eight cents an hour. After all, only an individual with a certain amount of personal pride in his work would take the time and care to slop down the meat so that it bulged into one corner of the sandwich and left the rest of the bun empty (though I think bulge may be the wrong word ... "bulge" would mean there was a lot of it).

Yeah, I've eaten enough of these sandwiches to know pretty much what to expect when we get down to the eating. Yes, as usual the bread turned into a sticky glue like gruel once chewed a couple times and was so foam-like I'd consider taking it with me on my next flight over open waters. If we crash I won't need the seat cover flotation device .... the bread would keep me above water for at least 2 days.

Just as the aroma implied, the bread was very sweet. A number of years back someone a great deal older than I complained that donuts these days are terrible because the dough isn't made with much sugar. Well, the dough for this bread is. Slap some frosting on these buns and they'd give even the overly sweet Krispie Kreme Donuts a run for their money. As for the steak, it's obviously just the same meat in their Pastrami sandwich (made by the same company ... see my review) but without the same spices. It's pretty flavorless save for the chunks of black pepper strewn artlessly throughout. It's definitely not awful but if it reaches for the stars for greatness the only thing it will accomplish is perhaps bumping it's head on the underside of a trash can lid ...

In short, yeah I'd eat it if I were hungry and desperate. Also, this "steak" is far better than those ground patties some of the other sandwiches use. One thing I'm left wondering is why would a company claiming to be New York Deli Style call this a PHILLY Cheese Steak? Out east where I grew up, everyone just calls them Cheese Steaks. Anyway, 3 bites out of 5.

*Shamelessly stolen from Jay Landsman.