Blogger.com is really pissing me off

When I wrote the last blog for some reason it would not only not allow me to spell check but it would also not allow me to post pictures. So here are the pics I took of the previous blog's sandwich. Oh yeah, fuck you blogspot!

BIG AZ CHICKEN COUNTRY FRIED CHICKEN BREAST PATTY WITH CHEESE

I've gotten a lot of questions about why I haven't written a blog in a while. No, I'm serious, people actually give a shit about this blog and I think that's awesome. The reason for the low activity is not due to cowardice but because of a lack of new sandwiches to try. I'm proud to say that drought has passed and today I bring forth a new review! Let's get down!

Today I noticed a story that loudly proclaimed how researchers had genetically engineered onions that didn't cause tears when they were cut. After eating the cleverly titled Big Az Country Fried Chicken Breast Patty with Cheese my guess is those same scientists genetically engineered the chicken patty to pack as much sodium and fat into it as possible whilst maintaining the flavor profile of slightly wet burlap.





If shit were cheese then this sandwich just had an enema were my thoughts as I removed this from the wrapper. Cheese had squirted all over one side of the bun and pooled into the corner of the wrapper like pus from some gangrenous wound. I noticed how big the "breast" was and foolishly allowed my hopes to rise just a tad. Could it really be?





My first bite confirmed my immediate suspicion ... a suspicion that any reader that has read my chicken sandwich blogs on this site should be familiar with: faux chicken breast. Though the Big Az claims to be chicken breast, it is in fact simply ground chicken parts formed into a breast-like shape. I don't like to think of what those parts might be before I eat the sandwich and I definitely enjoy such thoughts even less when I bite into something rubbery or hard. The interior of the breast looked like a torn foam mattress and was very chewy, like eating the glue used for paper mache. On the areas of chicken that were covered with excessive cheese it almost tasted as if I were chewing on a soggy Cheeto. The only difference is that there are probably more nutrients in Cheetos.





Like other sandwiches from this machine the bun was very sweet and chewy. Giving the bun a run for it's money was the breading on the chicken, which was sweeter than a plate of yams with extra syrup. I can't say the experience was a dreadful one as much as it was pointless. If I were to plan to eat shit food teeming with fat it sure as hell better at least taste good. If flavorless food is a must, eat a sack of rice cakes instead. At least you won't be saddled with the ungodly amount of fat that this thing has.

2.5 pointless bites out of 5.